I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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