since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
porn star boner night. come get it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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