Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
