Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
