i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
