Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is Oprah even human
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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