i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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