if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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