guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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