my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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