it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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