I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
