the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
