you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
