i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
