i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
