Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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