What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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