i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The air taste purple.
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