Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
