I skipped work to stalk him.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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