will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
