Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
