Having a random hookup so left but love u
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
