nut hugger
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
