The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
