But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
