so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
