I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
