i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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