Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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