Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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