no, he came in my armpit
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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