the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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