Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Watching her eat just hurts me
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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