you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
