I think i sorta joined a cult last night
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
4 words: hood of his car
I understand Curling. That high.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
