I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
