its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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