ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
