HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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