that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
