One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want to make a zoo with you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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