I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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