At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just had sex bonerless
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
