what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
