are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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