she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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