we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
