when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
