I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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