is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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