Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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