His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
How's work?
Spinning.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize