I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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